The jokes

What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?

I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.

What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?

You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.

I have more respect for cancer than depression, because cancer has the balls to kill me himself.

Fat kid jumps in the pool.

The popular girl: "I thought there was going to be a tsunami."

The fat kid: "I thought trash was not supposed to be in the ocean."

Your hairline is so big, Niagara Falls said, "Oh, looks like we've got some competition!"

What's the worst place to teach an orphan? Homeschool.

What animal can jump the highest?

Emo kids because once they go up they never come back.

What's the difference between me and a hairdresser? We both cut too much.

I heard you were looking for a stud...

I already have the STD; all I need is you.

If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.

Why did my foot cross the road?

Because your ass was on the other side.

Yo mama so fat, when she passed by the TV, I missed a whole season of SpongeBob.

The devil's number is 346 because you will be in jail.

I just came across a pile of cash in the parking lot.

Usually I just use tissues.

When is the only time Kamala Harris is using her head? When she is giving head.

My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.

The man was dangling by a string!

I was jealous the day he died.

So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"

So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."

Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?

Do you know the phrase, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure?” Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.