The jokes
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
What's the last thing that went through Curt Cobain's mind?
His teeth.
What did the emo say before he crossed the road?
"Fuck my life."
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because he lost his filling.
Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?
... she likes to rock and roll lol.
Memes
Teacher: Take a seat, class.
Wheelchair person: I've been in the seat.
Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?
Why are birds good at social media?
Because they "tweet" all the time!?
At first I was skeptical, but the universe has really grown on me.
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane.
I can't believe I got fired at the calendar factory. I mean... all I did was take a day off!
My short friend called me a scrub, even though he was the one below me.
I only listen to waltz 3/4 of the time.
Why wasn’t the cheese 🧀 happy?
It was blue 😔.
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
I think the military shouldn’t allow trans people, because all they'd do is switch sides.
Are you the voices I've been hearing?
Because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)
It's been known that Michael Jackson decided to do a song for the soundtrack for Free Willy, because he thought that he would get free willy in exchange for composing a song.
I found a chest of gold in my garden the other day. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.