The jokes
Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?
Do you know the phrase, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure?” Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
"Another one bites the dust."
How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?
Open a pizza shop 🍕
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
To make up her mind.
Memes
When you when, the when at, when with you know, the you, you, that you ever, when... you dont know whats going on.
What do you call a gay guy on the BBQ?
LGBBQ.
What's the difference between a bird and a kid on the roof?
The bird can fly off the roof.
Do you know what the "W" in Africa stands for? Water!
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?
I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.
What makes a child an orphan?
Their parents left them for good. :D
When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!
What’s an orphan’s favorite cereal?
Because it’s the only magical string in his life.
Why did the alarm go off when the emo and his friends left the store when they checked everything out?
The emo forgot to roll his sleeves up.
The first thing the emo did at the party is to pin the gun to their head.
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got ran over by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Shut the f*ck up.
9/11, also known as the day football stopped.
Steven Hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says...
WAITTTT WHATTT