The jokes
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
Why does an orphan hate the ending of Finding Nemo?
Nemo goes back to his father.
What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both take it in the back and go “whoot whoot.”
I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."
Why doesn't anyone play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
Memes
Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.
What does a Chinese guy say to his lover? “You’re the ying to my yang!”
Yo mama is so ugly that the Grinch fell out when he saw her!
I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.
What did the blind kid say after touching the emo kid’s hand?
“I ain’t reading all that.”
Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.
“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”
“Why is that?”
“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”
Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”
I got kicked out of the hospital.
Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.
Americans: I will cook the pizza.
Italians: I cooka de pizza!
Two terrorists walk into a bar.
The bartender asks what they are talking about. Terrorist 1 says, "We are going to kill 14k people and a donkey."
The Bartender asks, "Why a donkey?"
Then Terrorist 2 says, "See, I told you no one would care about the 14k people."
What do you call a shoe made by George Floyd?
The Breath Takers.
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common? There used to be 2, but now they're a sensitive topic...
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at three hoes.
I had a great day today because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table, and the teacher screamed, "Allison, how would you like it if I banged you on the table?"
I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books. Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining.
Why is the graveyard so noisy?
Because of all the coffin : )