The jokes

What’s the difference between your dad and your hairline?

Nothing, they both ran off.

Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?

Person: Big black what?

Riddler: ...

Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.

Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?

Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.

Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.

I was walking down the hallway at my job when I saw a kid crying.

I asked him where his parents were, and he kept crying.

Man, I love working at the orphanage.

Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?

To get hit by a car.

I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.

She whispered, "They're right behind you!"

"White people can't jump..."

"You must not have seen the Twin Towers on 9/11."

If an emo doesn't get better by Christmas, Santa's reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year.

How come pizza boxes are square when the pizza is a circle cut into triangles?

President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon.

Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.

The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.

I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.

I’m a faux pa.

Why do orphans enjoy playing tennis?

It's the only way they’ll get love.

Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff?

Neither did I until I found his Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.

My wife told me to contact more of my feminine side.

I crashed the car and fucked my trainer.

I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”

Why were the Twin Towers traumatized about eating?

After someone said, "HERE COMES THE AIR PLANE(s)," it just wasn't the same..........

What's the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital?

I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.

How do you know a woman is blind?

Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.

Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.