The jokes
My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.
What is the worst animal to play cards with? A cheater.
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
Why did one emo say to the other?
"I like your cuts, G."
Q: What’s the difference between Black Panther and Batman?
A: Batman “returns.”
Memes
Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
One day an orphan threw a boomerang. It's not the only thing that didn't come back.
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"
The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”
Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
What is the difference between orphans and serial killers?
Serial killers are wanted.
I still remember the last thing Gaster said before he kicked the bucket, it was, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?" (Sans)
Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.
Yo mama so fat that she broke the scale when she put one foot on it.
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.
Why was the kinetic sand always happy?
Because it was kinetic with its friends!
When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨