The jokes
What was the orphan's favorite TV show?
Full House.
Guys, don’t put the Holocaust books in the fiction section, it was the worst mistake of my life!
Did you know the past tense of William Shakespeare is Wouldiwas Shookspeared?
Why did the orphan go to church?
So they had someone to call Father.
Why are half the orphans missing? Because I took them, of course! :]
Memes
Yo mama is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl and a plate and ketchup to the red zone.
Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"
What did the emo kid say to the cashier? ... "Scan my wrists."
The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."
Why was Hitler broke?
The gas prices are outrageous.
What did The Rock say to his dad?
"I'm gonna Rock Bottom my cock down your throat!"
Why do they call it emotion when the root word is emo, but emos don't show emotion?
What was the first thing that went through the 9/11 victims' heads?
Their ankles.
What does my family and the Twin Towers have in common? We both played Jenga.
Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?
On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?
Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?
If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who would hit the ground first?
The brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions!
What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?
My donation to the orphanage :)
What did the cat say when he got mad?
I'm hissed!