The jokes

Knot

I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.

Thief

Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.

Bathroom

If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

European.

Bomb

Why is it hard to break up with a Japanese girl?

Because you have to drop the bomb twice for her to get it.

Orphan

Why are orphans bad at basketball?

They haven't learned how to keep the ball with them.

9/11

Why do people misplace 9/11 with emo kids? They both have a high death count.

Pilot

Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?

Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.

KKK

Someone in my class described the KKK as ghosts with pointy hats... I mean, he's not wrong.

People

The people in 9/11 were the fastest readers. They went through 10 stories in 10 seconds.

Vape

Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.

Emo kid

Me vs. the emo kid: we go to high-five a tree. I get a high five; the emo kid is left hanging.

Batman

Why does Batman cover half of his face? To let the police know that he's white.

Guy

Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.

He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.