The jokes

Orphan

Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?

Because they don't know how to use the home button.

Lie

Welcome to the Fast Food Divorce Center where yesterday's lies are today's fries.

Tree

How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?

You cut the rope.

Cowboy

Q: What did one gay cowboy say to the other gay cowboy?

A: Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Depression

I can't fake the smile for long, as there is weight hanging at both of its ends called depression.

Blonde

A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.

The lady says, "Come again!"

The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."

Orphan

Why do orphans have gross cakes?

Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.

Money

What did The Notorious B.I.G. say to the cow?

- MOO MONEY MOO PROBLEMS

Dad

The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not your dad."

Then he says, "What comes after 47?"

The quiet kid says, "AK."

Difference

What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.

Countryside

If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?