The jokes
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
Why did the orphan jump off of bridge?
So they can reunite with their dead family.
I don't need a punchline. Karens are the only joke I need.
"Poor old fool," thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink.
The gentleman asked, "So how many have you caught today?"
The old man replied, "You're the eighth."
Zelensky: I'm begging for Russian forces to withdraw from the whole of Ukraine.
Putin: Crimea river.
Memes
Why does Yoda like to get molested? Because he likes the Force.
What does Micheal Jackson and a rock have in common?
They are both hard.
What's the difference between an emo and a banana?
They both hang like apples.
(Bully) Boy, you ugly!
(Me) Boy, shut up, that's why your hairline start at the back of your head.
Why are there so many black men in the NBA that only want to play basketball on a all black basketball team? because they prefer to suck a long and thick big black dick
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
What is the point of buttchins?
To catch flies.
Q: What's really long and black?
A: The line at KFC.
I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.
The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"
Who is the definition of a natural-born cocksucker?
A bisexual male, a homosexual male, a bisexual female, or a heterosexual female?
A physically disabled heterosexual male.
What is an Italian massage?
An Italian Catholic priest giving a blowjob inside the confessional booth during Lent.
People call my blind friend dumb sometimes.
She can't see the obvious.
We're taking the orphans to the movies. We are watching Spiderman: No Way Home.