The jokes
The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.
I got sent to the principal's office after telling the kid in the wheelchair to do a wheelie.
What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?
9:11 AM
How do you get a depressed kid out of a tree? You cut the rope.
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form consists of only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
Memes
Why is September 11th the best birthday?
Everyone remembers it! :)
What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?
The apple... the emo just hangs there.
I was trying to hang the lights when I accidentally kicked the chair.
If her age is on the clock, she can sit on my cock.
You know, the earth was flat till they buried your mama.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?
The baseball player knows where home base is.
Why did the orphan cross the road? (Not to see his mom or dad.)
I'm no astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.
Why couldn't the orphan go on the school field trip?
Because it required a parent's signature.
Whoever said white people can't jump obviously hasn't seen the 9/11 footage.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
Why can't orphans really play baseball?
Because when they do, all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.
Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."
Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"
What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples get picked.
Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.
One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."