The jokes

Me to bully: You are so fat that when the satellite took the picture, you were considered as an island.

Bully: (Speechless)

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The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. She said: “This essay you’ve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written.”

“Of course it is,” said Johnny. “It’s the same dog.”

How do orphans see their family?

By looking at the mirror.

What did the Taliban say to the Afghan?

Nothing, they blew him up.

What in the world jumps the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.

Draco Malfoy had a wand fight in the bathroom.

I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”

– Rodney Dangerfield

A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.

This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.

The Twin Towers are like my dad, they are never coming back.

Why did the polack lock himself out of his car?

Because his keys were inside of the ignition.

The emo kid said, "I wanna die." But the quiet kid said, "Nah, I'm gonna die myself, bye!"

My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!

Why are Asians so bad at baseball? ... Because they ate the bat!

What sexual position produces the ugliest kids? Ask your mum!

If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?

The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.

Why did he quit the internet?

People kept on (rick) rolling him.

What's the worst TV series for orphans?

Family Guy.

What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?

Pikachu, I choose you!

I saw a kid crying in the corner. I asked them where their parents are. Man, I love working at an orphanage!