The jokes
The average French car has 7 gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back.
When Kobe's pilot hit the mountain, he said, "Kobe."
What is the difference between a baby and a canoe?
I would never put a canoe in my garage.
I don't get it.
Orphans are very religious, well mostly. Statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church. I mean it's the only place they can call someone "father".
What's the difference between an ugly monster and you?
Nothing.
Memes
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.
What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?
Tiger Woods had a good driver.
School was fun, but it was hard, almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.
When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?
Why do black men have nightmares?
Because the only one that had a dream got shot.
Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
Why do the twin towers and my mom have in common? They fell over.
Spell 'Imap' and say 'ness' at the end.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a tomato?
The tomato gets picked.
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why did the cat cross the road?
To make a catastrophy on the road.
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
"I met a girl and she's 28."
"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."
- AJR