The jokes

What's the difference between a baby and a potato? 140 calories.

Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.

Q: What do you call a group of transgender women?

A: The X-Men.

what is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Call of Duty kill cam be like.

This is the best kill streak ever!

Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?

They both thank you for your financial support.

I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.

What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.

What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?

Catholics are registered sex offenders.

Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent?

Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent.

I would kiss your lips, but your legs are blocking the way.

If you know, you know. 😏😏

What’s the difference between the way you watch porn and I watch porn?

The windows we look through.

My attitude doesn't have to be the only reason I yell and roll my eyes in the back of my head.

I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.

What tree is every emo kid trying to find?

The hanging tree.

A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.

Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."

Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

I never forget my grandpa's last words.

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!