The jokes
School was fun, but it was hard, almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.
When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?
Why do black men have nightmares?
Because the only one that had a dream got shot.
Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
Why do the twin towers and my mom have in common? They fell over.
Spell 'Imap' and say 'ness' at the end.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a tomato?
The tomato gets picked.
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why did the cat cross the road?
To make a catastrophy on the road.
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
"I met a girl and she's 28."
"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."
- AJR
What did the north tower say to the south tower during the summer? Get ready for fall!
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because their dad never came home with the milk.
I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.
Why couldn't the orphan watch Spiderman? He couldn't find his way home.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?... one gets picked.
It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.
What did the person say to the orphan?
"Where are your parents?"