The jokes
Whatโs the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What is the one thing wrong with Asian pet stores?...
There is always a kitchen in the back.
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just canโt help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
Why did a minister who is a Christian nationalist and a bisexual man give anonymous blowjobs to physically handicapped gay men under the handicapped stalls inside the men's restrooms at a rest area?
He wanted to eat footlong hotdogs for lunch at the rest area, but he wanted a sample first (taster).
Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.
Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.
Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.
Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.
Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.
Memes
What did everyone say about the crazy unemployed homeless man?
He made no cents.
Why did Mary fall off the swings?
She got hit by a refrigerator.
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
The doctor says, "Your wife is pregnant." The man says that he used a condom and the doctor says, "Yeah, but I didn't."
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They put her in a circle room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!
Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!
What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?
Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.
Q: How do Chinese people name their kids?
A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make.
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.
I always hit on 16, then get busted.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."
Youโre Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.
When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering, but you walk toward his gun; "I will finish what you started."
Guys, let's make this post have the most comments on the whole website.