The jokes
James Last, the king of the LP bargain bin, died a Florida Man.
A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”
Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”
Did you hear about the dyslexic American police officer?
He shot a Ginger.
I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.
what is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza. They got plane.
Call of Duty kill cam be like.
This is the best kill streak ever!
What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?
They both thank you for your financial support.
The lines on the pride flag look pretty straight to me!
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent?
Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent.
What's the difference between a baby and a potato? 140 calories.
So I went to the binoculars shop the other day. Tell you what, they saw me coming.
Why doesn't Kermit the frog get married?
He doesn't like commitment.
What did the skeleton say to the other? "Wow, that song, 'Spooky Scary Skeletons,' really does send chills down my spine!"
The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.
Make sense of what I am saying, This is a LIE—and that's the TRUTH.
What am I?
Answer: a Riddle.
My parents told me I was born on the highway.
Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.
Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?
Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the check.
A woman walks onto the bus with her child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have ever seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"