The jokes
Q: What did the cannibal say to the leper?
A: You gonna eat that?
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Gay sex is a real pain in the ass.
My mom told me to get off the computer or she will slam my head into the keyboard.
I don't think she lskdjfklsdjf.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pizza, but all they got was plane.
Memes
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The bartender answers, "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets."
I drew a picture of a whale in the ocean. My brother asked, "What are you drawing?" I said, "You taking a shower."
Helen Keller fell down a well. She screamed and screamed until she was blue in the hands.
How do you confuse a blonde? Put it in a circle and tell it to sit in the corner.
My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the movies, she sits next to everyone.
How did the USA beat Japan in rapping?
By dropping two of the biggest roasts.
What's black on top and white on the bottom?
rape.
What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers?
The redneck virgin.
What's the difference between my dad and my stepdad?
My stepdad beat my ass before he left.
What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu?
For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.
What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?
They both hang from trees.
What's similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the fetus inside of her? They are both thinking, "Oh shit, my mom's gonna kill me."
Can all the hot, depressed, suicidal guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we are. For real.