The jokes
Suicide is just freedom, life is just full of pain... Sometimes if you're gone maybe somebody might notice. Feels like life is a maze and the only way to leave is the exit. Nobody notices your pain, your suffering, and that you try your best though everyone notices your mistakes. Life just feels like everyone hates you. Life for me is just faking smiles, I'm not sure how everyone lives such a good life.
How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
What is 80 feet wide and has 22 teeth?
Answer: The front row of a Trump Rally!
What's black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
Alright, riddle me this: I am loud and obnoxious, I like music that rhymes. I'm a fraction of the population, but commit half the crimes! What am I?
What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?
There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.
Why was the orphan single? Because it could not call someone "daddy".
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, but Jill fell down and Jack came tumbling down after.
(And you thought this would be a joke.)
What is a gay person’s favorite book?
The dictionary.
Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.
When you go over a speed bump, but you remember that there are no speed bumps in the school zone.
What's the difference between an iPhone and an orphan?
One has a home.
What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms. "Knock knock." Who's there? Not Sally.
What did Trump rename the Presidential plane?
Answer: Hair Force One!
What did the Queen Bee say to the other bees? "Beehive yourselves!"
Two husbands walk into a bar.
The first one says, "My wife is an angel."
The second one says, "You're lucky, mine is still alive."
Who are the fastest readers in the world? The 9/11 terrorists went through like 78 stories in 7 seconds.
When you tell your Roblox girlfriend you’re breaking up with her, and then 10 seconds later you hear your uncle crying in the other room.