The jokes
What's black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
Alright, riddle me this: I am loud and obnoxious, I like music that rhymes. I'm a fraction of the population, but commit half the crimes! What am I?
What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?
There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.
Why was the orphan single? Because it could not call someone "daddy".
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, but Jill fell down and Jack came tumbling down after.
(And you thought this would be a joke.)
Memes
What is a gay person’s favorite book?
The dictionary.
When you go over a speed bump, but you remember that there are no speed bumps in the school zone.
What's the difference between an iPhone and an orphan?
One has a home.
What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms. "Knock knock." Who's there? Not Sally.
What did Trump rename the Presidential plane?
Answer: Hair Force One!
Two husbands walk into a bar.
The first one says, "My wife is an angel."
The second one says, "You're lucky, mine is still alive."
Who are the fastest readers in the world? The 9/11 terrorists went through like 78 stories in 7 seconds.
When you tell your Roblox girlfriend you’re breaking up with her, and then 10 seconds later you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
A hot dog and a banana had a race. Who won?
The wiener.
My mom said to take out the trash bags, so I did. And the next day, my mom asked, "Where are your sisters?" I said, "In line to get crushed."
Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marrahwanah.
Jack got high, slapped her thigh, and then they had some fun.
Jill forgot to take her pills, and now they have a son.
what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?
sue the dating site for matching her with him.
What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?
Do you want to hang later?