The jokes
"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying."
- Charlie Chaplin
Dad: School is canceled, I think your teacher died or something.
Me: Wow, they found the body already?
Dad: :/
You're so ugly that everytime you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
What's the difference between an escaped prisoner and an orphan?
Only one is wanted.
Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.
Why can't the orphan play baseball?
Because it doesn't know where home is... *sniff*
Who was purple and wanted to rule the world?
Alexander the Grape.
Everybody misses Xxxtentacion, but the bullet didn't...
Your mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company.
Teacher: Where were you born?
Student: The highway.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Student: I don't know, my mom says that's where all the accidents happen.
What's the difference between my dad and the milk man? The milk man comes back with the goddamn milk.
Why did the astronaut return to Earth?
She went on her launch break! 🚀🥪😋
I was blessed with a 9 inch penis.
The priest is in jail now.
What’s the best time to commit suicide?
8 a’glock in the morning.
How did the black woman name her 4 babies?
Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone.
How did she differentiate them?
She called them by their last names.
A woman can fake an orgasm for the sake of a relationship.
A man can fake a relationship for the sake of an orgasm.
The first time riding my bike was a lot like my first time having sex.
It was hot. I was sweaty, but my sister had her hands on my shoulders all the time.
I'm starting a new charity where homosexuals help the extremely handicapped.
I'm calling it "Fruits and Vegetables".
I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.
Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.
Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? - Everywhere.