The jokes
Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? - Everywhere.
How did the black woman name her 4 babies?
Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone.
How did she differentiate them?
She called them by their last names.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello on the other side.
Roses are red, your cities are gone, I am Thomas the thermonuclear bomb.
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
Memes
What do you call Hitler speeding?
The Fast and the Fuherous.
Why did the chicken cross the road? cuz he saw a chic 😉
My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.
How many people do you need to change a lightbulb?
Three. The first holds the ladder, the second one holds the lightbulb, and the third one spins the ladder.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a guitar teacher? One likes to stroke his finger across A minor, and the other one plays guitar.
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
Answer: A bath bomb.
Blue: The ocean is a place where the creatures live.
Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE!
Blue: It has many pretty things and it will-
Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on Titanic! So let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!
Enough with the Nazi jokes.
They make me führeious!
What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.
What's the difference between an escaped prisoner and an orphan?
Only one is wanted.
Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.
The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.
I'm not saying you're inbred. I'm just saying you're a textbook example of why consanguineous marriage might not be the best idea.
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.
Dad: School is canceled, I think your teacher died or something.
Me: Wow, they found the body already?
Dad: :/