The jokes

The gayest person on Earth is Pac-Man.

You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.

Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?

Mum: See the four birds over there?

Kid: Huh, wait a minute.

Mum: A drunk person would see eight.

Kid: Mum, but there is only two.

Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.

I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?

What is the smartest month?

April - No one can fool it.

Why did the lemon 🍋 go to the doctor 👩‍⚕️?

Because he had a sour stomach.

Did you hear the joke about the butter?

What is it?

I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.

Why did Adele cross the road?

To say hello on the other side.

What do KFC and pussy have in common?

Both are finger lickin' good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.

You know the difference between me and a zebra? Me neither.

I banged a German chick one time. I tried anal and asked her to rate the experience. She kept yelling "9! 9! 9!"

An Indian guy and an American guy in a wheelchair met in a bar for drinks.

The American guy got drunk and fell on the sidewalk.

The Indian guy got drunk and walked away.

Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.

BTW, I am one, wahahaa!

On September 11th, 2001, the New York Giants lost against the Jets.

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke a little leaf.

Jack got high and dropped his fly, and Jill said "Where’s The beef?"

Why is the Z the only politically correct letter?

Because all the other letters are not Z's.

My aunt used to say, "Slow and steady wins the race." She died in a fire.

What do women and pools have in common?

They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a guitar teacher? One likes to stroke his finger across A minor, and the other one plays guitar.

A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"