The jokes

The people in the World Trade Center ordered two pepperoni, but got two planes.

Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.

People say towers can't move. Apparently, nobody told that to the Trade Centers.

My mom said, "Why did I adopt you?"

I said, "Because the other three were mistakes."

Who else liked the part in Morbius when he said his catchphrase "IT'S MORBIN' TIME" and MORBED over everyone? In my theater we had a standing ovation!

Roses are red, violets are blue, in the middle of the day, give me money, you!

What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.

A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.

The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"

The doctor gave his patient 1 day of life, so he shot him. Then the judge gave him 15 years, so there you go, problem solved.

I saw some kids bullying a kid in a wheelchair. I grabbed the kid, pushed him down the stairs, and said, "GTA physics."

What's the difference between a used condom and the UCP?

The condom was actually useful at one point.

How did pioneers name Canada?

They put a bunch of letters in a hat and pulled out three. The first one was "C, eh?" The second one was "N, eh?" The last letter was "D, eh?"

That's how they named "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"

Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?

A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds.

Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.

Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?

What did the fish say when he hit the wall?

Dam!

Hi, my name is Unknown Guy! Please join my group for the picture I show you, we will do this every week!

Thanks, leave a comment or sign in using the sign in sheet that I have in Google Forms or own the website.

Hint: Pictures of woman.

Btw, for men only!

The reason why you have a high pitched voice is because you always sing opera.

My sister: See you at home in about an hour.

Me: Okay.

My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*

Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?

Sister: OMG, she's dead!

Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?

What’s the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.

What’s the opposite of poo?