The jokes

How do you break an orphan's wall in their room in the orphanage?

Tell them to put a tally on the wall with a pen for every second their parents are missing.

Why do orphans prefer IKEA to the Home Depot?

Because the Home Depot provides supplies for *a* home. IKEA just provides furniture.

Why am I in jail? Because I wasn't invited to the party in the orphanage 23 days ago. Stupid fucks.

Why is willb103 so funny?!!

Because he made the joke home page!!!

Being gay must be a pain in the ass.

Credit to omnom.

Why are the Americans bad at chess?

Because they lost 2 towers.

I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!

Why did the snake eat a panda?

Did you hear they’re making an Elmo toy to appeal to the Tourette’s crowd?

I believe it’s called the “Tic Me Elmo.”

A girl's pussy is a muff, and when we have something against our mouths, they say our voice is muffled, so do I think the origin of the word "muffled" is talking while eating muff?

"I need to go to the doctor!"

"Why?"

"It has a crack in it."

"Being broke is a disease, stay the fuck away from me."

When you have an ex, you will notice that the word "ex" is short for "executed," so that's there for yous.

One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?

My boyfriend and I were playing baseball last night with some of our friends. Halfway through the game we took a break and he asked me to hold his balls for him whilst he went to the toilet.

All our friends were shocked when I went into the boys' bathroom with him.

What did the dinosaur say to the man?

It didn’t, they're dead.

I only wanted to ruin the 69 jokes.

I read the Brothers Grimm books, then I see a black figure reaping about.

I realized someone has died, but I don't do anything about it. I continue to read, and that's when I realized that I was one of the characters, in which at the end, dies.

Check out my new song. It’s called “Nlggas in the hood,” and it’s really good, so go listen.

The people in the World Trade Center ordered two pepperoni, but got two planes.