The jokes
What did the cow jump over?
The Moon.
What's the best thing about taking a shower with a 12 year old Philippino girl?
If you slick her hair back, she looks 10.
Why did the Mexican chicken cross the road?
Because the mom said, "Vente, Baca."
Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks...
Stephen Hawking died because he got hacked by me, and the update was too strong.
Memes
What's black and at the top of a staircase?
Not Stephen Hawking.
Two brothers were arguing. One went: "You're an idiot!"
The other went: "Your brother's a mother!"
He replied: "Yeah, I know. Thanks for agreeing with me."
Me: Imagine not having hair.
Kids: On chemo.
Bitch the fuck.
I'm deaf. My deaf ex-wife cheated on me with a guy who I met on a deaf social trip who was also deaf. I guess I didn't see the signs at the time.
"Eeee, is a time for a tree night out to a tree. ๐ฒ I can fly to the earth day to day day one night type and a walk in and a tree."
What is the difference between a human and a magic house, and what do I have for dinner?
Why did the bean play Fortnite?
Because it had a beantroller.
A family had a very disobedient dog. It would bite the childrenโs hands when they pet the animal, the dog would piss on everything, and it would chew their shoes. This is why it was adopted.
Why did ze cow cross the road?
yo watch his mum getting butchered she was an udder failure.
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
Me: Hey you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong.
Trashy pig woman: Why?
Me: Because you smell like fart and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.
Me and your mom in the bed.
Your name is so damn retarded you got sent to the animal farm.
!!๏ธ!!๏ธHOLY FUCKING ๐๐ฆ SHIT!!๏ธ!!๏ธ!!๏ธ!!๏ธ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING ๐ฉ๐ AMONG ๐ฐ US ๐บ๐ธ REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1 ๐ฑ! ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ AMONG ๐๐จโโค๏ธโ๐จ๐ฉโโค๏ธโ๐ฉ US ๐จ IS THE BEST ๐๐ฏ FUCKING ๐ฆ๐๐ GAME ๐ฎ ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฏ RED ๐ด IS SO SUSSSSS ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ COME ๐ฆ๐๐โโ๏ธ TO MEDBAY AND WATCH ๐ ME SCAN ๐ ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ WHY ๐ก๐ค IS NO โ ๐ซ ONE 1๏ธโฃ FIXING ๐พ O2 ๐ พ ๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐คฌ๐ก OH ๐ YOUR ๐ CREWMATE? NAME ๐ EVERY ๐ฏ TASK ๐ ๐ซ๐ ๐ซ๐ ๐ซ๐ ๐ซ๐ Where Any sus!โ โ Where!โ โ Where! Any sus!โ Where! โ Any sus!โ โ Any sus ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐! โ โ โ โ Where!Where!Where! Any sus!Where!Any sus ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐ Where!โ Where! โ Where!Any susโ โ Any sus ๐ฆ! โ โ โ โ โ โ Where! โ Where! โ Any sus!โ โ โ โ Any sus ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐! โ โ Where!โ Any sus ๐ฆ! โ โ Where!โ โ Where! โ Where!Where! โ โ โ โ โ โ โ Any sus!โ โ โ Any sus!โ โ โ โ Where! โ Where! Where!Any sus!Where! Where! โ โ โ โ โ โ I ๐ฅ think ๐ค it was purple!๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐It wasnt me I ๐ was in vents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!๐๐คฃ๐๐คฃ๐๐คฃ๐๐๐๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐๐๐
Why couldn't the girl brush her hair?
..... She had cancer.... ;)