The jokes
A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
What did the chancla say to the belt?
"It's time."
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
My friend walked down the street and peed on a car.
Why did the Mexican take the tamale to the hospital?
Tamlito.
I will give you all the fine chicks you want. Just dial this number: 313-974- tap that ass from Hooters strip club.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
Moose jokes, why did the moose fly with an airplane? Because it was a skoose.
Old people all ways get in the way some times don't they all ways to sloow when they are in front of you and make silly exsgouses dont they it is some times beyond a joke ! Lol
Why doesn’t the orphan have any toys? Because his Lego figures ran away too.
Why did the lion say, "I'm faster than you," to the cheetah?
Because it was Halloween!
What did the orphan's mom say to him when he got into trouble?
Nothing, because he doesn't know his parents...
I'm lonely, but all I have is my cheeseburger, but what is the matter of living if you only have one thing?
But a cheeseburger is all you need 'cause it has 1,000,000,000,000 bucks man, so I can't just take it and spend it wherever I want.
Two friends wanting to find out if their buddy was gay.
The two walked up to their buddy and said, "Get down!" and he kneeled down.
There was once a genie with a 10 foot weenie, and he showed it to the neighbors next door.
They thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake. Now it's only 6.4ft.
I watched the series of "Unfortunate Events" 4 times, all the shows 4 times. I am crying. I am trying to finish the rest, then my brother comes in and says it is PG (Parental Guidance). After that, my brother called me a baby, then he pushed me off my bed. 😭
Why did the number 10 make friends with 0? Because you have $100 dollars.
Why did the clown not attack Mike? Because they bouncee.
Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? A: Apples get picked.
Best part about being an orphan?
Not spending 1h30 at the table every night with your dad yelling, "What's 2*3?!!" And you crying, "I don't know!!!"