The jokes
Comment if u liked the picture of Gwen in her "Bra."
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple has a family tree.
What's the difference between a rock and a woman?
The flat ones get skipped.
What did the swearing hen say?
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" (It's cluck.)
What did the cussing rooster say?
"Cock-a-doodle-doo, phew!"
Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.
What is the worst movie to watch at an orphanage? Batman.
My son and I went on a tour to the Old Trafford Stadium. We were admiring the 76,000 seat arena when he suddenly pointed at the pitch.
“Dad, who is that man camping there?” I said, “Son, that is Bruno Penandes. He lives in that Penalty box. He only performs in small games.”
Girl: Boys are like sports, they get played.
Boy: Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
Have you ever seen that weird ad that pops up at the bottom: sexy Russian babes looking for men older than 30, and they're 18, so is it a reverse pedo? Oh well.
If all the class are straight but you think that someone is hiding that he's gay, you're an investiGAYtor.
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.
Why do orphans have sex toys? Because the uncle isn't there.
Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
He was looking for "poo."
What did the dumb kid call ratios?
A type of cereal.
Yo mama is so ugly, she scared the sh*t out of the toilet.
Why can’t you yell at a kid?
Because the cops are after you.
A boi found a magic vase and a genie came out and told him he had one wish. The boy said, "I wanna be like Batman." The genie said, "OK, your wish is granted."
The boy came home later that day and his parents were dead.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fishes.
Fishes who?
Fishes the police, come out with your hands up!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.