The jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he was stapled to the punk rocker.

What did the bounty hunter call his favorite dog?

His Boba Pet.

"Florida was ranked the worst state in the 50 states by Thriller."

Florida: Well, WE didn't want to give our oranges anyway!

Why was the sea so friendly? Because it gave a little wave.

So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urinal.

Later on, I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because, well, he probably had to go, but yeah, he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urinal, so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part.

What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a BMW in my garage.

Riddle: I don't move, I travel across the world, but I never leave the corner. What am I?

Answer: A stamp.

The fact that "Hawkins" rhymes with "walking" and "talking," yet he could never do any of them.

When Stephen Hawking is ill 🤮, do you take him to Curry's PC World or the doctors? 😂😂😂😂

A whale went to the country Wales for vacation.

When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"

Wanna hear the car joke?

Nah, it's too fast for you.

Yo mama so hairy, when the baby came out, the baby died because of carpet burning!

Chemistry joke: Why did the Superman being normal people when a krypton was at him?

Because krypton is "stable."

My Dad keeps beating me and my mom. Please call the police. My name is Jacob Upchurch.

Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?

Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.

These are some of the greatest names ever: Dixie Normous, Dixie Rekt, Ka Monmi, Ice Wallow Kum, Dick Sinsider, Anita Biggerman.

When Sara gets naked in the shower, she turns her taps on :)

Stephen Hawking drove too far from the wall and unplugged.

He also forgot to pay the power bill.

If you replaced the boss in Portal with a boy, you would hear Stephen Hawking.

A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.

The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"

The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."

What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Lamborghini?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage...