The jokes

Why were the people during 9/11 mad? They ordered 2 sausage pizzas, but instead they got 2 plane pizzas.

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs.

If you're gay, then what the f*** are you doing trying to walk straight?

Q: What did Jesus say when he got nailed to the cross?

A: Owwww!!!!!

A man came running into a hospital saying, "Doctor, Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"

The doctor replied, "I know I amputated your arms!"

If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.

Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P

Jack took Jill up a hill to have a picnic, but Jack and Jill got drunk. They then Jill unzipped Jack's fly, then said, "You know you want me to."

He said yes, so she took off her dress and bra. Jack took his pants and shirt off too. They both went in the well together and played a game: Jack's candy stick in Jill's candy stick. Next, Jill was sucking Jack's candy stick while Jack licked and sucked her candy stick, then Jill sat on Jack's candy stick while making out.

The South Tower proposed to the North Tower, but he said no.

Have you heard the word of the day? It’s "legs".

Now, let’s go back to my place and I can spread them.

Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.

They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.

Why did the scarecrow get promoted?

He was outstanding in his field!

Why couldn't the bicycle stand? It was two tired...

The exam is knocking at my door... so I ran away from the window.

What cries, is red, and is a pokey boi?

The baby you just feed nails to.

Parents: Why do you use your phone on the toilet?

Me: The same reason you read the newspaper on the toilet.

Why did the Mafia cross the road?

Forget about it...

What do you get when you throw a pebble in the ocean?

A wet pebble.

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.

Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a tap?

The tap can run.

I killed a Wood elf yesterday. The guard charged me with... mer-der.