The jokes
How can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles?
Answer: Just throw one candle in the sea; the boat will become lighter.
The difference between women and beer is that beer makes you happy for nothing, why women make you angry for nothing.
What has 5 legs, 3 arms, and 7 feet?
The finish line at the marathon bombing.
Why could the blind man not see?
Answer: Because he is blind.
I despise lumberjacks. They are always barking up the wrong tree, all bark and no bite.
They just need to leaf people alone or stick with something nicer.
Memes
What does Adam look like?
The fat ginger baby of Boss Baby.
Do you wanna know the best thing about 28 year olds?
There are 20 8 year olds.
Poopy pants! Ha! Got 'em! Use Code Fred_5001 in the Fortnite item shop.
Why were the octopi sad?
Ugly 2d big tittied girls kept fucking him idk im a horny 14 year old.
What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.
Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"
What was the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
Lololol get it? They fell from like 100 feet.
My mom told me that she and the owner of a Chinese restaurant made a deal. Now we get free Chinese food. So I ask my mom why do we get free Chinese food? Then my mom said, "I love him long time."
I lent my sister my bed. The next morning, she told me it worked like a dream.
Why did Sarah call off the swing? Because she has no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.
Lady: I am going to come to your house.
Man: Ok.
An hour later, the lady is at the man's house. The man meets her outside of the house.
Man: You are going to cum to my house!
And then he fucks her.
What's the difference between a mole and a priest?
One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.
When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet? Because the “p” is silent.
Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.