The jokes
What time is it when a rooster sits on a fence? Morning.
What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence? Time to get a new fence.
What time is it when a lawyer sits on the fence? Time for an elephant to sit on the fence.
Why did the car drive over the cake?
'Cause it was in tiers!! Lol, sorry this ain't funny.
What is the difference between a human and walk home from school and walk home?
What is the difference between the human rights act and a dad?
Children are so ungrateful nowadays. I got my daughter a bike, but now she’s crying on the floor saying, “I don’t have legs!”
Why are fish not sleeping? 'Cause the bed is wet.
The village people said that they need their idiot back; you better get going!
Why did the person take crayons to the bedroom?
To draw the curtains.
Me in my dream: What a good day! *rumble* Ooh! What was that?
I wake up and I find myself on the floor.
I approached her in the checkout line and said, "Yo baby wassup?"
She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.
I was at a football match, and the ball was getting closer. Then it hit me. *face palm*
What did the corn say to the flying apple?
"That's corny."
What did the banana say to Ethan, Ryan, and Cooper?
"Hi!"
My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"
Fat girls give the best head because they are hungry and eat the most dick.
There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.
She really hates it when I spit my food back out.
What did the cookie say when he jumped off the cliff? Crumbs, ha ha!
Sans: Hey Frisk, why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Frisk: Why didn't he go to the dance?
Sans: 'Cause he had no body to dance with!
My brother Taf likes to pee the bed.