The jokes

Pedophile

All Mia needs to destroy the evil young girl in Resident Evil 7 Biohazard, was using a pedophile instead of serum.

Emo

Why did the nerd get scared of the emo? Because the nerd likes to leave the emo hanging.

Rave

How do you start a rave in Ethiopia?

You put food on the ceiling and they start jumping.

Emo kid

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they all sit in the dark.

Hitler

Why did Hitler kill himself? He knew the war was over at the beginning.

Uncle

Noticing how wet and gentle the baby's mouth was on the bottle tip, this gave Uncle Willie an idea.

LGBTQ

Why were people not happy before they were part of the LGBTQ+? Because they weren’t gay.

Sister

My sister just sits on the toilet with her iPad, then I go to do something at the sink and she says, "Bella, give me toilet paper!" Then I am annoyed, like super annoyed.

Wife

Wife: Hi babe. Husband: Hey. Wife: Do you wanna? Husband: YES! Wife: Ok, make sure you have a towel to go to the beach. Husband: WHAT? You mean go to the beach? Wife: Yes, what did you think I meant? Husband: Oh, nothing, bye. Wife: Bye, see you there.

Relationship

The only problem being short and gay is that whenever I try to tell people I'm top in my relationship, they don't believe me because I'm shorter than the person I'm dating, like, WTF?

Boy

Someone telling a joke:

Boy: "My parents are dead."

Girl: "My grandad is too."

Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"

Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"

Money

If you give a prostitute money, you will go to jail, but if you give a prostitute a Klondike bar, you will not go to jail. I would rather go to the casino and get more money for my buck.

Christmas

What does the child with no hands get for Christmas? Unknown. He hasn't opened it yet.

What does a homeless man in New York get for Christmas? Hypothermia.