The jokes
What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.
But if you're vegan, you call him food.
If you're poor, you eat the skin.
Why do seagulls not fly over the bay?
Because if they did, they'd be bay gulls.
What did the mustard say to the ketchup at the race?
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
Why did the tamale go to the hospital?
because estava malito :)
What's the difference between the baby I just killed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What did the stepbrother and stepsister do together?
Oof, mitosis!
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replied: "'Til December."
What was purple and conquered the world?
Alexander The Grape.
The reason he died is that they accidentally flipped the wrong light switch.
All these oranges, but you're still the one for me.
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starts, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus, you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
What does a blowjob from an 80-year-old and bungee jumps have in common?
You feel the rush, but don't look down.
My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror.
We never met again.
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.
What did the chocolate dentist say to the other chocolate dentist? Did you "chip" a tooth?
The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.
Don't trust the atoms, because they make up everything.
How do kill a redneck?
Wait until he is fucking his sister and take the brakes off his house.