The jokes

We all know that Lincoln and Kennedy are the most open-minded presidents in the world.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.

"You the bomb!" No, "you the bomb!" A compliment in America, an argument in Afghanistan.

Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because I put the wrong socks on this morning.

Coronavirus walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Gimme a shot of whiskey, will ya?"

The bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve viruses here."

Corona replies, "Well, you're not a very good host."

The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five...

...but it left him hanging.

When the school shooter misses you, but you gotta play it off.

😐😑

Why was the stadium so hot?

Because all the fans left!

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.

Carrie Underwood and ChatGPT are not the same. ChatGPT is able to create a soul.

Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?

They couldn’t close his casket.

A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.

You need to be a complete dick.

Why do Black people dip their Oreos in water?

Because daddy never came back home with the milk.

Two priests are pulled over by the police. One priest asks the cop what the reason for pulling them over is. The cop says, "We are looking for two child molesters." The priest look at each other and tell the cop they'll do it.

Your mom is so fat that if she sits on top of a gas station, she will lower the prices.

Yo mama so fat that when I banged her in the jacuzzi, there was a level 8 tsunami.

A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”

Knott and Shott got into a gunfight. Knott was shot and Shott was not. Therefore, it was better to be Shott than Knott. But what if the shot Shott shot didn't hit Knott but Shott? Then the shot Shott shot shot Shott.

A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually, the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."

The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.