The jokes

You're so ugly the whole world faked a virus just so you could wear a mask.

The depressed kid getting bullied.

The bully: "You are useless."

The depressed kid: "I know."

What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?

The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.

What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.

So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."

Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? -- It was a noble gas.

Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.

What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?

I've never been inside a submarine.

How do you punish a blind guy?

You leave a plunger in the toilet.

I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.

What’s better than winning a medal at the Paralympics?

Being able to walk.

Why is the bottom of the sea so dark?

Because Black people can’t swim.

what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?

dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.

morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.

How did the gay girl die? Homicide.

My therapist told me to write angry letters to those that upset me and never send them.

He is really going to hate the letter he never gets.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?

One is made of plastic and bad for kids; the other one holds shopping.

What's the difference between Freddie Mercury and Princess Diana?

Freddie lived long enough to be a Queen.

If I'm still single by Christmas, Santa won't be the only one jumping off a roof.

I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."

Why aren't emos and trees friends? Because the tree leaves them hanging.