The jokes

Apparently, describing the beautiful city of Hiroshima as "The bomb" is not okay.

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

yo mama so stupid she climbed up a glass wall to see what was on the other side.

Why did the tamale go to the hospital?

Tamalito.

Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a while. But set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

What is a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game?

Before the first period.

A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said "Chinese food," so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Indian," so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.

A man shoots up a school and then fakes his own death. He then later returns to shoot up the same school. He repeats the process a few times until the police catch him. When they ask why he did it, he replied, "I wondered when you would check if I was still breathing."

Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin?

A programmer and his wife.

She says, "We're out of bread. Please go to the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."

After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.

The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"

He replies, "They had eggs."

What's Al-Qaeda's favorite sports team?

The New York Jets.

Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.

How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished?

The dog lead went slack.

Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons.

American: "I won't ever see my dog again!"

Italian: "I won't ever make pizzas again!"

German: "Hey, granddad, how have you been?"

What does the cannibal get after a one night stand?

Breakfast in bed!

What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.

So I went to the doctor's and the doctor said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign."

So I said, "Aquarius."

And the doctor said, "Nah mate, you've got cancer."

What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?

A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

We're skipping April Fools' Day this year. The biggest joke is already sitting in office running our country.