The jokes
Why was Liverpool the worst bespoke? Rio supports it, hahah!
What's the difference between a dog and an orphan? The dog gets picked.
I got the new phone with longer lasting battery, but it still lasts longer than your relationships, ooooooooooo!
Why does the emo's mom like taking her son to the store?
Because the cashier can scan his wrist for discounts!
Your face needs to be put in the trash so people don't need to suffer.
Memes
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because there's no home.
What is the difference between an apple tray and an orphan? The apples get picked.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The KGB.
The KGB wh-?
*slaps* I will ask the questions here.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Your new father!
What did one butt say to the other?
Something brown is slithering down.
Get the gun, shoot it up your bum!
What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."
When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.
Why did the ducky get arrested?
He got caught selling quack.
Yo mama so fat, she took both sides of the family.
Why were the baker's hands brown?
Because he was kneading a poop.
Why did I beat up the orphan? Because he was a whiny bitch who wouldn't shut the fuck up.
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
Are you the sun? I can see you from a mile away.
Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?
You're so fat that when you went sunbathing at the beach, Greenpeace came along and pushed you back in the ocean.