The jokes
What did the water say to the cup?
"Good day!"
Unfortunately, NASCAR has been canceled.
The woke people heard that it was a human traffic ring.
My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.
The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"
Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"
What does “JETS” stand for?
Jihadis Eradicating The Skyscrapers.
A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”
The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”
What does the EPA issue when a person stinks up a room with their smelly farts?
Air quality alert code brown!
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.
Why can lesbians not drive cars?
They always strap the wrong thing on.
How did the rapper find his missing phone?
He checked the track list.
What is long and the line is black?
The line at KFC.
What is the difference between Paul Walker and the Queen?
Paul Walker passed 100 before he died.
Which of these is the smartest; also, list them too: Is it autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
Your hairline is so far back that if you were a backbencher in class and I was a germ sitting on it, I would think that the rest of the backbenchers are seated in front of the class.
What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?
"No, my cock!"
Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"
What instrument do skeletons play?
The Trombone!
What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?
Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.
Why didn't the child go to school?
Because he died of a heroin overdose.
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
Because it was all about the TIMING.
What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?
One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.