The jokes

You know that the F in orphan may stand for family, but it actually stands for "fuck family."

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? The Parent Trap.

Why did the orphan play Monopoly? To at least get some money. #fake

TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.

What kind of punch do little kids give to other little kids? The Sandy Hook.

I tried to have phone sex once.

But the holes were too small.

What's the one school event that orphans don't go to?

Parents' evening.

A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

Have you heard of the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?

See if these nuts fit in your mouth.

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the pool, the water jumped out!

Why is the sun so mean? Because it keeps ROASTING everyone!

Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.

It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.

I don't joke about 9/11 because I lost my dad. He was the best pilot I ever knew.

Who is king of the pencils?

The ruler!

Q. What’s the only good thing about child molesters?

A. They drive slow through school zones.

My girlfriend didn't bring me the sandwich, so I brought the gas.

A priest walked in and said to the kids,

"Hey kids, are you ready for your faptism?"

Why did Stephan Hawking not turn up to the meeting?

His internet connection ran out.

I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.