The jokes

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

Yo mama so ugly, she looked in the mirror and it broke.

Why doesn’t the sun go to college?

Answer: Because it has a million degrees! 😀

I always press the stop button to see you.

Yo mama so fat, she broke the stairs to heaven.

Hi, this is Chloe, and I am about to tell you about my joke.

Why did the cow cross the road? Because to get to the other side.

Someone cutting the cheese then farted.

Someone sees the cheese, and it smelled like crap (literally). He said, "Who cut the cheese?"

What did the bus driver say to the lady with one leg?

Hop on.

I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."

My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.

He do American feel like Trump is the president, he is stupid like soup.

What do you call a cow that's on the ground? Ground beef.

That's what you do. And the ahteot09oe.

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste!

What happens when the music note starts to misbehave?

Then he gets into treble!

Why did the man laugh when he only had just one nickel and one penny in his pocket?

He had a 6 cents of humor.

The orphan had to earn money because he/she didn't have parents to give him/her an allowance.

FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS

Why Should I Walk? By Iona Carr.

What Lonely Girls Should Do By Seymour Fellowes.

Unusual Window Decorations By Rod Curtains.

The Long Walk Home By Misty Bus.

Race to the Outhouse By Willie Makit and Illustrated by Betty Wont.

I drove my Chevy to the levy, but the levy was... Oh, CRAP!!!

Why was the Computer late to work?

'Coz it had a hard drive... LMAO