The jokes

The toothbrush says, "I have the worst job in the whole world."

The toilet paper behind him says, "Yeah, right."

The fish do nothing. That is definitely a bad joke.

Your momma is so fat, she was in a movie and the screen broke!

Which nut is worth the most? A cashew.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Peanut. Peanut who? Peanut butter open the door!

Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?

'Cause it was stuck in the crack... *buttcrack*

What is the best part of a turkey? The drumstick!

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.

Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"

Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.

Why do orphans watch "The Nightmare Before Christmas"?

Answer: Oogie Boogie is ugly, so they want to be ugly.

My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!

I thought I had the best K/D ratio in my fighter jet on Battlefield, then I heard about Mohammed Atta.

My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."

I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."

What's the difference between you and me?

I have a plan for this new year.

So long, suckers. Keep scrolling.

What did the horses say to the donkeys?

"Jackasses, please like!"

I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.

What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?

Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.

Never let an orphan watch Fast and the Furious.

All they will talk about is how great their family is.

What's the difference between an orphan and Daniel Larusso?

At least Daniel has a mom.