The jokes
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to skull.
Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.
The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.
Why would you not let an elephant sleep in the same bed with you?
Because they stink and now the room smells like elephant shit.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A rooster clucks defiance!
The sun is fire.
What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a boomerang?
The boomerang is guaranteed to come back.
What’s your favorite food? Chode in the hole?
I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.
Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.
If you are a big fan of me, go to the movie and I kill the bad guys. If you don't, I will be mad and I will be sonic.exe lol.
Why did the golfer change his pants? In case he got a hole in one!
My sis came up to me and said, "Mom told me to take the trash out for the rest of the year."
"So, uh, you free tomorrow?" 😂
You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.
What were the orphan's mom and dad's names? John and Jane Doe.
Mom: There is so much of the dog's dirty ball marks.
Me: *umm ohh no* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dirty balls!
That's cringe, bro. The ex weas pisitive.
Orphans and homeless people are the same thing.
What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?
Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"