The jokes
House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.
That autistic kid having sex for the first time:
"U The Hips, U The Hips!"
What is the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
There is a room of men: Jamal, David, and Afzul. "Jamal is black," "David is white," and "Afzul is a Pakistani." Who set off the bomb?
Afzul, it's clearly him cause he's a Pakistani...
Did you hear the passengers on the Titanic invited Yo Momma and the Titanic crew said, "Man overboard!"
How is toilet paper recycled?
Easier than you would think, but first they have to process the crap out of it.
Why did the son go to the store?
To find his dad.
The reason why orphans can't play baseball is because they can't find home.
Jesus is the worst, just joking; he is the best! Best best BFF great guy ever that has a miracle. Jesus comes from Bethlehem! 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😇
Yo mama's so stupid, when I said, "Drinks on the house," she got a ladder.
Q: How do you know it's time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand.
Beauty is only skin deep... but ugly goes all the way to the bone!
Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.
He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
Why do orphans love chips? They love the family-sized ones, too!
What Lord of the Rings book is banned from the United States?
The Two Towers.
So there’s this air purifier in my room, right? It’s really noisy, so I unplugged it to sleep better, and sure enough, I fell asleep faster. So I came to the conclusion: if I unplug noisy machines, people will sleep better.
It worked really well in my local hospital.
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.
Your hairline is so back when the police saw it, they had to arrest you.
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers.