The jokes
In 1492 Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
He sat on a rock, tickled his cock, until it turned red, white, and blue!
What’s the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.
What did the orphan want for Christmas?
Parents.
Jesus was the one who created the T pose, not Fortnite.
I was in the bedroom slapping your girl harder than Will at the Oscars.
I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.
Why did the teacher yell at the orphan?
Because he didn’t do his homework.
My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)
What did one candle say to the other?
"Want to go out tonight?"
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?
They cry...
They scream... with joy.
"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."
Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...
I have a better version of this joke.
How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:
Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims, they went through 91 stories in 11.2 seconds.
What’s the favorite song of someone with an Oedipus Complex?
“My Mommy Comes Back”
What goes oOoOo on your breath that scared away the animals from the farm?
Why was the orphan eating cereal with water? Because he has no dad to bring him milk.
I met a gay guy last night.
Man, was he a pain in the ass.
Man, my brother has a tight, buttered butthole. The veins in my cock throb when he comes over!
Why’d the chicken cross the road?
To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!
“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”