The jokes
When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."
Roses are red, Obama is well spoken, I'm sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is broken.
You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.
Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.
So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?
What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?
You know how 7 8 9? Why was ten scared? 'Cos he was in the middle of 9/11.
What's the difference between Mars and Africa? Mars has water.
Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Q: Why did the orphan buy an iPhone X?
A: Because it has no home button.
The "F" in "Orphan" stands for "Famulu."
Why did the orphan try to fly? It was trying to find its parents.
Who were the people that survived 9/11?
The ones who decided it would be a good idea to jump.
What's the difference between an orphan and baseball?
In baseball, you know where home is.
Stephen Hawking's last words were the Windows closing sound.
Stephen Hawking robbed the Apple store looking for a charger.
What's the 9/11 survivors' least favorite team?
New York Jets.
The only joke here is the topic.
What did one orphan say to the other?
Quick, Robin! To the Batmobile!
My mom is in the FBI. My dad is in the FBI. My sister is in the FBI. My brother is in the FBI. And do you know what I am?
Divorced.