The jokes

Quote Of The Day: Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.

Love you guys, and hope today was amazing!

Peace out! <3

I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they got excited and asked if I could drive a B-52.

A grasshopper tries playing cricket. It failed and got eaten by the bat.

The best football game was the Jets against the Twin Towers.

You know who deserves a medal? The guy who killed Hitler.

Me: Yo, dude! Yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes!

My friend's mom: Why you bully me?

Planes shouldn't have free Wi-Fi. Why? Because the last time they had free Wi-Fi, well here's what happened...

On September eleventh 2001, (children scream).

I played Uno with my Mexican friend.

That bastard took all the green cards!

Yo momma is so fat, when she fell I was not laughing, but the sidewalk cracked up.

I said to the emo girl, "She gets jealous every time her phone dies."

What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of him?

Well, it only takes one nail.

What did a tree say to the tomato?

Nothing! Trees don't talk, silly.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apples get picked.

Yo mamma so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they put a blanket over the Atlantic Ocean.

Why don’t pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?

They just wash up on shore.

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"

"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."

What's the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

One day, a man visited an orphanage.

Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"

The kid cries even harder.

Why is football the gayest sport ever? Because it's just a bunch of sweaty men tackling each other.

It’s about drive, it’s about power, We stay hungry, we devour, Put in the work, put in hours, And take what’s ours.