The jokes
You could hold your breath for the rest of your life.
Think about it.
Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!
How on God's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone?
JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.
There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?
Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.
Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."
What happened to the leper when he accidentally walked into the screen door?
He strained himself.
Why is the letter "B" very cool? Because it's sitting in the AC.
What's the difference between a guy and a woman? They fall from different heights.
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
Get shanked with a lamb shank with a stinky pampa in the tolpan.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the chicken coop?
Why did the orphan go to the woods? To take a *what*?
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
Because he was trying to catch a boomerang.
What are the similarities between a broken tire and me?
We were both caused by broken rubber.
What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags its tail, and the other tags a whale!
Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!
What do people have a shot at when it comes to love? Shooting them in the heart.
David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?
Answer: David.
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse.
Would you help your uncle "Jack" off the horse?
Bianca: Mr. Doeken, even though I completed my test, you still said it was "late." Why is that?
Mr. Dowon: Bianca, for the LAST TIME, MY LAST NAME IS DOWON!
Bianca (🤨): Are you sure?
Mr. Dowon (😒): What do you need, Bianca?
Bianca: It's Bianca!
Mr. Dowon: Are you sure?