The jokes
Q: How do you punish a blind person?
A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!
What’s the difference between a life and a nuclear bomb?
I don’t have a life.
You got the whole crowd of people laughing when looking at you.
That face needing some laughing pills.
You're so fat that when you went outside, you broke the 2-meter rule for COVID.
Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?
Someone turned off flight mode.
(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)
What do you say to the USA after 9/11? Checkmate.
The sexy towers are just like my sexy toes because when I crashed a plane into the tower, it burned and bled.
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
Why are the two friends like the Twin Towers?
They fell apart.
What do teachers eat? They eat square stuff.
The four Daisies:
Princess Daisy
Daisy Duck
Daisy Wells
Daisy Dove Bloom
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because the dad never came back with the cow.
My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!
What are the similarities between BTC and 9/11? They both crashed down.
Why can't Oregon go to the doctor?
Because they need parents' signature.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.
Ask the emo kid: "Hey, how's it hanging?"
Who are the quickest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. They went through 34 stories in 4 seconds.
Why did the North Tower want chocolate ice cream?
Because he didn't want plane.