The jokes

Phone

Today, I asked my phone "Siri" why am I still single, and it activated the front camera.

Lemonade stand

My cousin: “How’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when you’re at softball practice?!”

Me: “Lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”

Murder

Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...

I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...

He could have married her!

Trampoline

My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realizes I've replaced the bed with a trampoline!

Product

Chinese always proud of their principle in business.

The fact is only products they copy that go international, except for COVID.

Orphan

The Emo kid wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.

Chin

I'd make a joke about the chin bones, but y'all couldn't mandle it.

Kid

What hit the ground first in a tree, a leaf or an emo kid?

The leaf, because an emo kid got a rope to save him!

Funeral

Mom, where are we going?

To your grandma's funeral.

Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.

Boob

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."

Wrestling

I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.

Tower

Q: What did the kid on the airplane say?

A: "Those are two nice towers right there."