The jokes

What do you call people who jumped in the dam?

A dam fool.

Why did people invent glow in the dark condoms?

So gay people can have lightsaber duels.

I got kicked out of a library for putting a book about women's rights in the fantasy section.

What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?

...

I'm still trying to think of an answer.

You know the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"?

Great phrase, bad way to find out you're adopted!

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.

You should go back into the abortion bucket. Maybe you'll find half a brain in there.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack was in shock with a mouth full of cock, 'cause Jill's real name was Randy.

"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.

He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."

What’s the best kind of candy to offer at a Pride parade?

Skittles.

What did the cholo say when the house fell on him?

"Get off me, homes!"

I've patched 1,000 roofs, and they don't call you Boris the roof patcher. I've built 100,000 swords and shields, and they don't call you Boris the blacksmith, but you fuck one goat!

What did the man's dick say to the man?

I just can't "hand"le it!

What did the sushi say to the bee?

"Wasuuubi!"

What happened when the dog played golf?

He hit the ball into the ruff.

Once there was a boat. Its friends said,

"It's time to come back." And the boat said,

"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."

When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.

I am up in the air about becoming a pilot.

If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.

Papyrus: Sans, can you call Undyne for me and tell her that I found a human!

Sans: Sure bro, lemme just get on the Tele-bone.

Papyrus: Ssssaaaaannnnsss!!!!!!

Sans: Yea bro.

Papyrus: You know what? I will tell Undyne instead.