That jokes
What is a playground that is old?
A rotten playground.
What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?
That’s assault!
Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge?
It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava if they're active. And ours was.
"Bill, never do that again."
Were you born on a highway? Because that's where accidents mostly happen.
If you ever thought you were gay, remember that cockroaches exist.
Yo mama so stupid that she thought Subway was a place where you buy subways.
One thing that Miles Morales and Black men have in common is that they're both rip-offs.
Your mom's so fat, when she entered a fat contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"
Your mama is so far that when she told a joke, no one was laughing, but the floor was literally cracking up.
Yo mama is so old that she was born on the first day the universe existed.
What do you call a white man that’s blind?
Asian eyes.
Me: I broke me bum.
Dad: Oh, that is bad. I will get some Pooh in the toilet so I can heal your bum.
You're adopted, that's why your mom or dad never came back with the milk!
Me: You know your parents were very good people.
Orphan: Wow, I didn’t know that.
Me: I know, you're an orphan.
My wife saw me hit the best drive yesterday with my golf clubs.
I must have drove that chihuahua 300 yards.
Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his brother in the woods?
"Hey, is that a peach?"
*gets slapped on the butt*
"Noted."
What do I think about the Kennedy assassination?
First of all, he should have had a roof on that car.
My [blank] is long and yellow that can't swim.
A school bus full of children.