That jokes

Yo mama's so stinky that whenever she walks into a building, the flies drop dead!

Yo mama is so fat that when she put on a yellow dress, people called her "taxi."

Stephen Hawking walking, oops, he does not do that anymore.

Guys tell me that I have a MILF for a mom. So I told my mom that guys tell me that she is a MILF. My mom said to me, "What is a MILF?" so I said, "Mother I'd Like TO F-ck." So my mom started to laugh and said, "Well, you do need a new step dad."

What is the difference between the human and a tree and a house that has to walk home and walk walk home from school? Was your name in your house? I did not have any good time for dinner today, but I did have a good night's sleep.

What dog can’t see a dog that’s blind?

Good day today, love you. Walk in love day and a walk home night. Night, night. I did not get snow. I love it is the day that we get a tree. I have to go get some sleep. Was good day at school today, but I’m going to be...

Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!

What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.

Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.

An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.

The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."

A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."

"Interesting."

"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.

You like bread toasted? That means you're roasted.

Yo mama so fat and old, she's the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs!

Your dad? Oh wait, you don’t have that!

My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."

Name a shop that racists don’t go to? The black market.

The cop that is on a 12 o'clock shift says, "Hands up!"

What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?

McBongald's.

What do you call a traffic light that tells you, "Don't look, I am changing!"