When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed three episodes of your favorite show.
Yo mama so fat that when she took a selfie, she needed two phones.
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.
Roses are red,
My nuts are bigger than your small balls, that's why I get all the bitches.
If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.
Yo mama so ugly, that when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho- HOLY SHIT!"
I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.
If Earth is the 3rd planet from the sun, does that mean that every country is a 3rd world country?
What do you call a priest that likes juice?
A Capriest Sun.
Your mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, it only got rid of weight.
Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."
Did you hear that Michael Jackson once got food poisoning?
He ate 12-year-old nuts.
Why are there so many black men in the NBA that only want to play basketball on a all black basketball team? because they prefer to suck a long and thick big black dick
I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.
Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?
Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.
Trump built a wall that Mexicans can't get over it.
What is a redneck virgin?
Answer: A seven-year-old that can run faster than her brothers!
You're so poor that when you walked into an elevator, you thought it was a mobile home.
