That jokes

Wheelchair

  • A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.

    He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.

    The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.

    On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"

  • 1
  • Door

  • (DOORS)

    What door is the first door that opens for you?

    The elevator to go to the game.

    Rib

  • Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?

    God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!

    Priest

  • I recently learned that churches won’t let trans men become priests because they don’t consider trans men as men, which is rather confusing to me.

    As a Jew, I don’t know very much about Christianity, but from what I’ve heard, don’t priests love little boys?

  • 2
  • Condom

  • True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.

    Reincarnation

  • This morning, I was having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend about reincarnation. I said to him, "If you could come back in the next life as anything, what would you come back as?" He thought about it for a minute and says, "A tree. That way, everybody can look at me and admire me."

    Then he says the same thing to me. I started thinking about it when these two sexy, half-naked studs walked by. One was a jock, the other on his bicycle. I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat, but knowing my luck, I'll come back as a tampon.

  • 1
  • Mama

  • Your mama is so far that when she told a joke, no one was laughing, but the floor was literally cracking up.

    Blowjob

  • If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?

    Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.

  • 2
  • Stuff

  • Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.

    Random person: What stuff? 🤨

    Me: What?

    The person: You said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!

    Me: Colourful flamingo fart.

    Keyboard

  • More random keyboard words made into sentences:

    This was a joke that was made by someone who had never been to the game before, but who was the first person to make it into a game of game with the intention of being able to play the first person who played it.