That jokes

Jesus

  • So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.

    Woman

  • I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.

    Sister

  • My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.

    In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.

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  • Mom

  • Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"

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  • Mum

  • Your mum is so fat that when she sat on the toilet, she couldn't because her fat ass can't fit on the toilet seat.

    Bathroom scale

  • - Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.

    - Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.

    - Oh...that might actually be even easier.

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  • Money

  • Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?

    Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?

    Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?

    Race Car

  • Race car backwards is race car, but if you turn race car sideways, that’s how Paul Walker got sent to God’s inbox.

    Orphan

  • Hey so I like orphan jokes, and some of them are fun, but I think that's engonp.

    Milkman

  • A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labor. The doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father. They agree, so the machine is used. 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not feeling anything, 100%, nothing.

    The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.

    Doctor

  • Doctor: “I have good and bad news.”

    Patient: “Give me the good news first.”

    Doctor: “Your test results are back and you have only two days to live.”

    Patient: “That’s the good news? What’s the bad news?”

    Doctor: “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”

    Penaldo

  • You caught a Penaldo!

    Description: Penaldo, the finished statpadder. It is said that Penaldo drains the energy of its teammates and sells underwears.

    Type: Ghost type.

    Moves: Dive

    Disappear in big games

    Cry for pens

    Statpad vs farmers

    Sells underwear

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