New Teenager Jokes - Page 3 - Worst Jokes Ever

God, I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.

Do emo kids get jealous of their phone when it dies?

"I met a girl and she's 28."

"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."

- AJR

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.

What's 1 + 1?

Can emos eat a Happy Meal?

I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"

Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

What does an apple have in common with an emo kid?

Answer: They both hang.

What do you call a gang of emo kids?

Why did the emo kid hate the nun? (Cuz nun of them were emo.)

Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.

If R. Kelly was a therapist:

14 year old: I hate my life.

R. Kelly: I feel you.

What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?

An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.

Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.

A depressed kid wanted to give me a high five.

I just left him hanging.

What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice cuts, G!" (because they like to cut themselves).

So a lady was walking down the street with two bags, and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills. A cop pulls up and he says, “Ma’am, ma’am, your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills.” Then she says, “Oh, thank you. I wonder how long that’s been going on.” And the cop says, “Before I help you, may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bills?” And the lady says, “OK, I’ll tell you. So I live next to a stadium, and I have this beautiful rose garden, but these dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes. So they stick their junk through the fence, and I grab their junk. I said, ‘$100 dollars or it’s coming off.’” The cop says, “Oh, OK, well what’s the other bag for?” And she says, “Well, not all of them want to give me $100.”