Team jokes
What's Al-Qaeda's favorite sports team?
The New York Jets.
What do you call a bunch of depressed kids with AK47s?
Suicide squad. 😂😂😂
When your friends [are] talking about sports:
Jake says, "It was 17.56M people watching [the] basketball championship."🦁
Sam says, "It was 113M people watching the Super Bowl." 😯🐱
Avion says, "It was up from 1.12 billion people watching [the] World Cup." 😶🙀
Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.
The coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.
Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.
One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!
He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!
Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"
He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.
The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.
"Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"
"Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."
The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"
"I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."
Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."
Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?
A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim is already in America.
Your mom is so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
Why do orphans hate cricket?
Because they can't get a "homerun."
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because no one misses them.
What do you call a group of emo friends?
THE SUICIDE SQUAD!
Why do people play soccer?
Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.
Yo mama so Irish that she thought the Chicago Shamrox were a Quadball team.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't ever find home.
A skinny black person named "Treyvon Robinson" joins a pickup basketball game at the local court, trash-talking about his "superior athletic genes" while munching on a stolen bag of Skittles. The ref blows the whistle for a foul, and he argues, "That ain't fair, I'm just naturally dominant!"
But the team's coach, a burly black dude who's been eyeing him all game, grabs him by the jersey, blindfolds him with a sweaty headband, slathers lube from his gym bag all over, and pile-drives his ass courtside in a twisted BDSM slam dunk, yelling, "Now taste the rainbow, punk!"
Why can't Indians play football? Because every time they take a corner, they make a shop.
When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?
Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.